Posts tagged me
Posts tagged me
Both of you will always be my Milky Way
Both of you being not only my guides to life, but my inspiration that has lead me to who I am today. you were the ones that held my hand as I jumped and jumped higher trying to touch stars. Your life was my milky way. My milky way which I travelled to when the bright blue skies were never enough for me. As those skies would evolve into frightening storms that would burn lightning towards me as I try to leap from nothing to places I could only imagine being in. Places I would dream of, fly to, as my days would burn with a thousand strikes of thunder right into my heart that would leave a million arrows of lightning shot to my very core. Leaving me nowhere but have no choice to use my only chance. It was not mine, but life’s decision to turn out this way. The decision to now step into your lives with my very last breath. Traveling through you being both my milky way of genuine curiosity as you would find yourselves, as I would find me. Its funny how as our spirits would ignite, how are heart beats would intertwine, how you gave me the most insightful answers I’ll ever need to be happy in this life. Answers I could only ever receive from the both of you. Both of you showed me how , and what it takes to be fulfilled, to be. To be who I really am.
Through days of unstoppable thinking, the infinite search of trying to fit in big blocks into ridiculously tiny, yet painful holes… You were the passage that I travelled into. The passage that has lead me to become so understanding, always curious, a writer, and an artist in ways I couldn’t believe my self ever changing since then. And will probably be my daily life’s destination from now on.
Without both of you ever colliding to become my milky way, I in all my being, believe I would be worth nothing without the both of you. Where the both of you would infinitely intertwine to only become my eternal Milky Way.
I’ve changed so much over the past six months. Over the past six months, my thoughts have begun to mature, and to not just see things but to see through it. I’ve learned to always deal with my own problems independently. Become more accepting who I am now, accepting of my faults, my flaws, my persona. But as days of hardship, and waiting goes by, I can’t help but always be reminded of you. Think of you, and how we used to be.
I’ve tried everything, called you, texted you, and even e-mailed you. I don’t know what else to do. I wish you could forgive me, not from the sake of things being ok. But from the fact that I’m changed. I learned my mistake, and what I should have never done. And also because I can’t stop missing you, wishing for you. Wishing that you still do feel the same way. And that your love for me has never outgrown. A love like mine
I wish you would just talk to me.
I can still hear your sweet kind voice. your voice that soothed me as our highschool years just run as by. as we watched the universe turn and turn endlessly. I remember your eyes and how they would smile, saying I missed you. Im happy with you. I love being with you. I miss you so much, I crave your love, your sweet and tender-hearted eyes. Our adventures that never really left me , those sweet kind words you fed me. your sincere heart, and the change you go through all the time. The constant sweet truth you’d feed me all the time. I miss you. I miss you terribly. It’s been months and months since I haven’t been able to let you go, my heart never ceased to want you back. No matter how much I tried. No matter how much I tried to let you go, your ringing voice in my mind won’t let go of me. Please come back to me, please just be here like how it used to be.
It’s been months and months, please stop my crying, please be the one to tell me why you ever left me. Left me hanging here, in this desert without you. My heart begs you to notice me, my mind says there’s nothing left you can do. My mind then says, it’s all your fault it ended this way. It’s all your fault you said those meaningless angry words. It’s all your fault why you ended up like this. My heart can’t help but agree. Agree that things are better now for her. Things are better like this because I had my own issues with myself that troubled the one I truly missed.
Now that I’ve realized this, I just hope you’d be here next to me like it used to be. Because I’m good now. I’m better now, especially when i began to have the answers to all my insecurities. My troublesome insecurities have banished and walked out the door, just like you have. i pray all the time for you. I pray all the time for you to come back, because no matter what they say about you, no matter what my mind says to do, my heart will never ever stop longing for you. Your unique companionship, our sisterhood, your giving strength, and most of all your kindness that always kept our friendship alive.
I’ll miss you. Your kindness, sweet scent, and big heart. Your ever so wonderful self as you lay beside me reaching out to touch my face. I’ll miss you so much because you slept with me, kneaded me, and let me know that I’m not alone here. You were here constantly reminding me I’m leaving now. I’m leaving now. Please don’t forget me, now that I’m leaving now. Thank you so much for all the love you’ve given me. is what you said as your shared your warmth close to my body on a cold night letting me know that this will be our very last time together. It’s all for the best for all of us. Are the things you said. I replied saying, Ill miss you too. My sweet boy, my kind-hearted Drogo.
You say it was hard to let her go. But sure I believe you. Or maybe not. I see it in your eyes, you’ve drowned your soul into material things. Things that never mattered. You raise your brow thinking that your the best with your new freaking phone. So what? Next year there’ll be a new one. Will you be the one to pay for it? Or are you going to be begging for it as you type along your blog. Your oh-so busy life. You thinking that you’re so awesome with your sheep like clothes. Dressing like every know-it-all-hipster. You know what? Since you’re so miserable as you pretend to be happy, why don’t you type along your undeserved iPad posting pictures of all your fake smiles, and being so naïve with your oh-so-angelic friends. Your words were never as deep as the ocean. But only a mask to how disgusting you really are.